Monday, 29 March 2010

Magpie 7 Jaundiced Nightmare

Willow apologised for past prompts saying feedback said that they had been too hard.
They're all hard. This one took me by surprise, not the least because Willow intimated that it was going to be an easier Magpie. Not for me. Frustrated I decided to go down a new track. I began with word association - first phrases that came into my head. Then a bit of editing. This is where I got to.
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Jaundiced Nightmare

i am flying over fields of sunshine
rippling glowing dazzling
splash me
blind me

i turn turtle
belly towards the blue sky
then hurtling
towards a jaundiced horizon.

golden glow heralds
vacant days stretching
into black nights

I am done with hope and
knowledge and optimism.
I yearn for dark recesses
to rest my uncomfortable quest.

there could be meaning
in splashes of red or green
but glorious sunfilled fields
hold nothing but mirages
of false gods and seductive impossibilities

still these fucking daffodils
keep me from sleep
final sleep
they are my siren.
I am in a yellow hell.


Katherine said...

I am gobsmacked! You are genius at stringing words together Little Hat!! The first stanza had me ready for a feel good experience with it's pretty words ( you know like I was in a land of rainbows & lollipops).... and then... it takes a dark & gloomy turn! Very Good indeed!

willow said...

If you struggled with this one, it was a good thing! Wow! One of your best, LH. I love the phrase "I turn turtle belly". Brilliant ending.

Vicki Lane said...

Quite different from the the usual 'my heart leaps up' response to a host of golden daffodils! Terrific!

Enchanted Oak said...

Oh. Wonderful exploration of word association. Dark and deep. My Magpie Tale is up and absolutely opposite of yours. Wonderful.

She Writes said...

This is your idea of struggling, huh?

still these fucking daffodils
keep me from sleep
final sleep
they are my siren.
I am in a yellow hell.


Jennifer said...

First of all - I love your approach to the creative conundrum, and even more I love that you risked something new! And I'm especially glad you risked it because I love it.

Most us went for the happy dancing daffies and you surprised us with a "jaundiced horizon." Well done.

The Bug said...

Love it! Yellow hell indeed!

steviewren said...

Oh, so sorry the prompt throw you into a yellow hell. I was totally blank in the beginning myself.

Peter Goulding said...

As others have said, if this is your idea of struggling, LH, I'd love to see you with a handy prompt! Terrific and deliciously obtuse!

joanny said...

I love Peter's comment to you Terrific and deliciously obtuse!

Bedazzled - jaundiced horizon- false gods and seductive impossibilities.

there are days we wake up and think the sun is shining a little too bright today and pull the covers over our heads for more delicious dark sleep
Love the ending-
"they are my siren.
I am in a yellow hell."


Angie Muresan said...

Very different. I read it twice because it's so good.

Catalyst said...

Boy I hope you get some more tough prompts from Willow, Little Hat. That is excellent and the last stanza had me laughing out loud.

Grand Purl Baa said...

Me thinks poetry your gift Steve.


Quite amazing, really fantastic writing. Love this!

Brian Miller said...

haha...that was amazing!