Willow apologised for past prompts saying feedback said that they had been too hard.They're all hard. This one took me by surprise, not the least because Willow intimated that it was going to be an easier Magpie. Not for me. Frustrated I decided to go down a new track. I began with word association - first phrases that came into my head. Then a bit of editing. This is where I got to.
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Jaundiced Nightmare
i am flying over fields of sunshine
rippling glowing dazzling
daffodils
splash me
blind me
bedazzled
i turn turtle
belly towards the blue sky
then hurtling
towards a jaundiced horizon.
golden glow heralds
vacant days stretching
into black nights
I am done with hope and
knowledge and optimism.
I yearn for dark recesses
to rest my uncomfortable quest.
there could be meaning
in splashes of red or green
but glorious sunfilled fields
hold nothing but mirages
of false gods and seductive impossibilities
still these fucking daffodils
keep me from sleep
final sleep
they are my siren.
I am in a yellow hell.
15 comments:
I am gobsmacked! You are genius at stringing words together Little Hat!! The first stanza had me ready for a feel good experience with it's pretty words ( you know like I was in a land of rainbows & lollipops).... and then... it takes a dark & gloomy turn! Very Good indeed!
If you struggled with this one, it was a good thing! Wow! One of your best, LH. I love the phrase "I turn turtle belly". Brilliant ending.
Quite different from the the usual 'my heart leaps up' response to a host of golden daffodils! Terrific!
Oh. Wonderful exploration of word association. Dark and deep. My Magpie Tale is up and absolutely opposite of yours. Wonderful.
This is your idea of struggling, huh?
still these fucking daffodils
keep me from sleep
final sleep
they are my siren.
I am in a yellow hell.
Bravo!
First of all - I love your approach to the creative conundrum, and even more I love that you risked something new! And I'm especially glad you risked it because I love it.
Most us went for the happy dancing daffies and you surprised us with a "jaundiced horizon." Well done.
Love it! Yellow hell indeed!
Oh, so sorry the prompt throw you into a yellow hell. I was totally blank in the beginning myself.
As others have said, if this is your idea of struggling, LH, I'd love to see you with a handy prompt! Terrific and deliciously obtuse!
I love Peter's comment to you Terrific and deliciously obtuse!
Bedazzled - jaundiced horizon- false gods and seductive impossibilities.
there are days we wake up and think the sun is shining a little too bright today and pull the covers over our heads for more delicious dark sleep
Love the ending-
"they are my siren.
I am in a yellow hell."
Joanny
Very different. I read it twice because it's so good.
Boy I hope you get some more tough prompts from Willow, Little Hat. That is excellent and the last stanza had me laughing out loud.
Me thinks poetry your gift Steve.
L
Quite amazing, really fantastic writing. Love this!
haha...that was amazing!
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